


All I Had Was You and Now You're Gone

by bennywormxo



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennywormxo/pseuds/bennywormxo
Summary: One year after the explosion Ethan finds himself grieving over the lost of his best friend, Benny.
Relationships: Ethan Morgan & Benny Weir, Sarah Fox & Ethan Morgan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	All I Had Was You and Now You're Gone

(One Year Later) 

It took Ethan a lot of time to get over the death of his best friend Benny. He sometimes gets flashbacks of the day. The day when Stern got the Lucifractor. To survive, Ethan had to get bit by Sarah. Sarah had no time to bite Benny, Ethan blamed her for that. He blamed her for the death of his best friend. Ethan blamed himself more than he blamed Sarah, he blamed everyone. 

Ethan got up for school, he hasn’t talked to any of friends since Benny's funeral. Ethan had a lot to think about, he needed to get better. He was seeing a therapist but he found that talking about Benny was only making him more sad. The scariest part is that he didn’t know that if he could get better, he wanted to get better for Benny. But he missed Benny way too much. 

Ethan went into the bathroom, he looked into the mirror and he couldn’t see himself. It just made him mad, it took a lot of him not to break the mirror. After Benny was killed, Ethan didn’t go to school for the rest of the year. Which resulted in him getting held back, he was already a few months into the beginning of the school year. For someone who had the power of speed and flight, he was always late to school. 

A lot of things about Ethan changed in that year. He was never hungry, even for a vampire. He changed his wardrobe to more black clothing. He even lost all of his good friends, Sarah, Rory, and Erica. Ethan hated to admit this, when he lost his friends after Benny’s death it only made him hurt more. He wanted his friends back but he didn’t know how to go about it. 

He would do anything to have Benny back, he would do anything to relive those memories with his best friend. That was the scariest thing that Ethan could admit because he knows what happens if you bring back the dead and he would risk it all for one day with Benny.

Ethan got dressed, into black skinny jeans and gray long sleeve sweater, he raced downstairs to see his mom packing his lunch. “Don’t forget you have therapy today,” she reminded him, Ethan nodded. Ethan grabbed his lunchbox and his backpack and started walking to school. He took a quick detour through someone's yard and to the park. The park was the only place where he liked to be anymore, it was quiet in the morning. It was the only time where he could actually straighten out his thoughts. 

“Ethan!” Sarah yelled, Ethan was surprised to hear Sarah’s voice. He hasn’t heard her voice in ages, from ignoring her so much. Sarah eventually gave up on talking to Ethan, she thought that maybe he needed some time to himself. Ethan turned around and looked at her, she was alone. Rory and Erica weren’t with her, which came as a surprise to Ethan. They were always trying to find a way to cheer him up, even when he wrote them off.

“What do you want?” Ethan scoffed, Sarah looked around awkwardly. “I need to know that you’re alright,” Sarah said, she was obviously concerned for Ethan. Who wasn’t? “Are you asking if I’m going to put a stake through my chest? If you are, then I’m not.” Ethan stated he just wanted to be left alone. 

“Ethan, Benny died a year ago. He would want you to get over it, he wouldn’t want you to be like this.” Sarah remained calm and tried to reassure her friend that everything was going to be alright, ”don’t say his name like that! You should’ve bit him instead of me, he deserved to live.” Ethan said, he was on the verge of tears, it took everything out of him to not collapse and cry. “So Benny could live the pain you’re in?” Sarah asked, “if you couldn't have bitten him then you shouldn’t have bit me, you should’ve let me die with him!” Ethan coldy said, he hated this. He hated that he was arguing with Sarah, he didn’t want to but he kept everything bottled up inside of him and it’s making him go crazy. 

Sarah felt those words that Ethan said to her heart, she just stood there silently. Searching for Ethans eyes, but Ethan couldn’t make eye contact with her. Not now, not ever. “Just go Sarah, I don’t want you here.” Ethan told her and turned around and continued to walk to the park, leaving Sarah standing there. Sarah sighed in disappointment that she couldn’t help her friend overcome his grief and decided to leave him alone for a little longer. 

“So, let’s talk about the question that you were avoiding so long. What was Benny to you?” The therapist, Mrs. Walsh asked. “He was my best friend, my brother. He was everything to me and then he was just taken away.” Ethan spilled, that was the most he ever said in therapy. Maybe it was because he had that talk with Sarah today, that could’ve been what’s getting to him. 

Ethan wanted to leave, he didn’t want to talk about Benny anymore. It only hurt him more, he only wanted to reminisce on the good memories he had with him. He wanted to act like Benny was still there with him, he didn’t want to talk about his death. There’s not a day that goes by that Ethan didn’t wish Benny was there with him. He would do anything to hug him again or even kill a supernatural monster with him. 

Ethan hasn’t smiled in a year or felt truly happy in a long time, he just wanted to be happy again. “This is useless,” Ethan mumbles on the couch he was sitting on in the therapist's office. The therapist was writing notes on her notepad, “what makes you think that this is useless?” She asked him, “because you can’t bring him back.” 

Ethan got up from the couch and walked out of the office and left, without saying goodbye. He flew home so he could get home quicker. He walked through the front door avoiding his parents and his sister and walked to his room. He skipped school today and he waited in his room to get scolded by his mom but his mom never came to his room that night. She understood him more than he thought she did. 

Ethan sat on his bed, scooting his back to his back board. He lifted up his knees and put his arms around them, he felt like crying. He wanted to cry, he knew it would help him but he just couldn’t because he knew that it wouldn’t bring Benny back. He lifted his head up and looked at his ceiling before he knew it, his eyes started to burn and his eyes started to water up. He put his head down in his lap and started sobbing, all his memories of Benny were flooding back. 

Ethan eventually laid down in bed and curled up in a ball and continued to cry himself to sleep. The next morning Ethan’s eyes were puffy and red, he wanted to skip school again and lay in bed all day. What’s the point of going to school when he’s already failing all his classes, maybe he should drop out. He has all the time in the world to go back to school and start over. He got up from his bed and groaned, he looked around his room. It was a mess, he needed to clean it, maybe that’s what he would do today to help him keep his mind off of Benny. 

He walked down stairs, to see Jane sitting on the couch watching Dusk. He ignored her and walked into the kitchen and saw his mom making breakfast. “Hey, mom can I stay home today from school?” Ethan asked in a soft voice, he knew that she was going to say yes. Because no matter what she said he was going to ditch anyways, “Yes, honey.” His mom said and gave him a weak smile, Ethan nodded and walked back up to his room. 

Ethan thought a lot that day in his room, that he wanted to get better. He wanted to be able to get better without Benny being back. He figured that he needed to get out of Whitechapel to get better. Since he was a vampire after all, maybe he should go. Get away, he figured that he was hurting everyone by being cold and distant. Maybe he wouldn’t hurt anyone if he was actually gone. 

“Ethan?” Sarah called for him, but he wasn’t there. He was already gone, Sarah walked into Ethan’s room to find that it was cleaner than the last time that she was there. His window was open and letting the cold air from outside get in. Sarah walked over to the window and shut it, she saw a piece of paper folded on his desk by his keyboard. That was addressed to his Mom and Dad. Sarah unfolded the piece of paper to read:

Dear, Mom and Dad,

Don’t worry about me, I decided to take some time to myself. Don’t come looking for me, you won’t find me. By the time you’re reading this letter, I’m probably already out of town. I’ll come back one day I promise, but not tomorrow, next week or, even a month from now will I be back. I love you guys and I will miss you everyday but you need to understand that I am doing this for myself and only myself. I need to get better.

Tell Sarah, that I am sorry for treating her like shit, she deserved better. I didn’t mean to blame her, I hope she understands that. I hope she understands that I understand why she did it, she did what she thought was right. She was right about everything, she was right that Benny wouldn’t want me to be sad. But the thing is, I was more angry than sad. It wasn’t fair of me to take it out on her, she tried everything she could. Tell her that I always loved her and will continue loving her. Make sure she doesn’t look for me, make sure that she isn’t mad either. 

Tell Rory and Erica that I’m sorry as well, Rory was hurting as much as I was and I wasn’t there for him like he was there for me. I was a shitty friend to him as well and I could’ve done better. Tell him that everything will be alright, that everything will work out in the end. Tell Erica and Rory that I’m sorry for blaming them for Benny’s death, I blamed them for not being there when they shouldn't have. They did the right thing in leaving town. 

Tell Jane I am sorry for being so distant, I should’ve been a better older brother. I should’ve been there for her when she needed me the most. If she wants my room, she can have it. I don’t need it anymore. Make sure she knows that I love her and will miss her as well. 

Love, Ethan

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this ! 
> 
> bennywormxo on tumblr


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